A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
|—||Anonymous (via araeni)|
when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”
Can I just say that that is an excellent example of a forward role and not at all encumbered by the bow
Well done, Jennifer
Can I also just say that is an excellent example of a proper anchor in archery and she is holding the bow perfectly
Again, well done, Jennifer
The fact that she can do this and still stumble walking up the steps to accept an Oscar is one of my favorite things about her.
Also the same person:
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.
me and my friends have been playing this game all week that we learned from our art teacher at the beginning of the year where we fold a piece of paper in half and someone draws the top of a creature then someone else draws the bottom without looking at the other half like
Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Oedipus
Half of our generation wouldn’t even understand that
yes you are right the thousands of notes on this post prove how ignorant our generation is. only you are intelligent. you are the chosen one.
only real Ancient Greek kids would understand
reblog if ur a tru 650BC kid
Beyonce has been on a 123-show tour since March. She kicked off 2013 singing the National Anthem at the inauguration and then performed at the Super Bowl. And in between taking care of her small child and Instagramming her every bowel movement she somehow found time to secretly record an entire album PLUS 14 music videos and NO ONE leaked any of it to the world? Meanwhile I have a shelf from ikea that’s been sitting unfinished in a corner since May.
sometimes i feel as useless as the ueue in queue
I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me